Google-chats with my mother. From Beirut.
July 26, 2006
me: bombing beirut like crazy
right now
pound thud pound thud
boom boom boom
like an upstairs neighbor having an orgy
bam bam bam
bambambambambambambam
August 9, 2006 me: i have to have to buy a cake and wine
and candles
and gas for the stove
and af ew other things for mo’s birthday Ma: are they bombing?
are bombs falling?
me: now>?
yes
Ma: where bombs>
south b.?
please be careful.
jeez
do you have to go outside?
me: yes i do
this is old news
gotta go
Ma: oka
will you be back later?
me: yes
willb e back around 1am my time
Ma: oka
by
have fun
be careful
dont get bombed on
carry a bomb umbrella
they must sell them on every street corner
me: nothing of the sort
i wil take a cab
xoxoxoxox
Ma: xoxox
me: bye byebye
Ma: CAREFUL!
i adore you
me: i adore you ma
i’m happy to be alive
Ma: thats the nicest thing youve ever said! about being glad to be alive i mean
i take that as a compliment
me: really?
Ma: since i forced it on you
me: that makes me feel like i dont say a lot of nice things
you did!
24 years ago
May 20, 2007
Ma: hi, what the fuck is going on?!
me: hi momma. big explosion
caught me on the shitter
was just pulling down my pants
trotsky died on the toilet
that was my first thought
i was pulling my pants down to pee!
i peed a bit on my leg
i didnt care though
BOOOOOOOOOOOM
shook the whole house
Ma: where was the explosion
me: its the mall by my house
ABC mall where I always shop
You had a bad pedicure there once
One min walk from the house
we are on the roof now.
Ma: what was it about?!
me: horrible smell in the air
some group. wannabe al qaida apparently. whatever that means
Ma: can you please get out of there now>?
me: dont worry
we’ll see what happens
in the next few days
ma: don’t wait! Leave tomorrow!
me: i was happy to know that i wasnt imagining it
its funny that every loud noise sounds like a bomb until you hear a real bomb and then you know its real
IT WAS LOOOOOOOU
D
RUMMS
ok i gotta go now
you there, momma?
good that i shopped at that market this afternoon and not just before midnight
Ma: yes!
me: we always park right where it exploded. assholes. never parking there again.